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Someone is going to be 30 soon. This same someone is trying to remain optimistic about it. So, she made a list of light-hearted goals for her 30's.

1. No more buying cardigans.
2. Slowly cut back on morning coffee.
3. Sleep in whenever possible.
4. Try not to be so obsessive compulsive. Namely, don't replay conversations thinking about what you could have said differently or how you could have ended it better.
5. Write more poems.
6. Hold more babies.
7. Curl hair 2 times a week.
8. Start jogging during the week (3 times at 20 minutes a pop; seriously self, how hard can it be?)
10. Work on Chinese: become a regular listener and commenter on Chinesepod.
11. Laugh more and join activities that facilitate laughing (game night, Jack Handey quotes?)
12. Give your friends specific encouragement about qualities you appreciate in them.
13. Say no to movie theaters.
14. Say yes to sledding and skiing and other winter sports.
15. Eat more cayenne pepper (helps with circulation.)
16. Drink more wine (purely health purposes.)
17. Make original mistakes in relationships.
18. Always be willing to host people.
19. Spend more time talking to the Father as you would a friend.
20. Spend less time requesting things and more time praising Him.

Happy Times

The Pilot and Mr. Senator

This past fall, I've had the good fortune to be on a couple of dates. Each one has been unique, somewhat romantic (at least at the beginning) and incredibly insightful. And although these couple romance interests have ended somewhat anti-climatically (a.k.a. ambiguously and awkwardly), I have learned a thing or two.

1. Give the date a nick-name. The first one fittingly became known as "The Pilot" and the second one became Mr. Thune, named after his look-alike counterpart, our SD state senator John Thune. (A couple of my girlfriends had another name for Mr. Senator, but I prefer to keep it civil on here.)

2. Buy something special to remember the date. On the first date with Mr. Pilot, I bought a book as I waited for him (an hour) at the Garrison Keillor bookstore and coffeeshop. By the time he arrived, I was kind of immersed in my book, wishing he would have been just a little bit later. On my date with the Senator, I bought a beautiful navy scarf with flowers on it. Wearing it made me feel beautiful and youthful, (perhaps too youthful as I later discovered.) But still, I was very happy to have a scarf on that chilly evening.
Note: The purpose of the item is not to remember the guy so much as it is to remember the experience; what did you learn? how could you improve in your communication? what new place did you discover and so on?

3. Be willing to let the guy go when it becomes clear that he is not that into you or was just playing. Letting go might include deleting his phone number from your phone and forcing yourself to meet new people. It might also include indulging in the memory of some nice things he said to you and then immediately recalling some quirky and annoying things he said to you. It's okay to think about said date once in awhile, but then try to distract yourself AND whatever you do, do not contact him.

Yes, it has been a very insightful season. And in the words of my new room-mate, "We are like the fruit at the top of the tree. Any guy that is worth it, must climb up to the top to win us."

Over the River and through the Woods

Today for Christmas, we headed to Wilmot, SD to celebrate with my Aunt(s), Uncle(s), and cousins.

Ahh, sigh. There's nothing quite like driving in South Dakota, a breath of beautiful, clean air.


On the 3 hour trip, we stopped for gas at this great little shop near Watertown. Somebody insisted we get out and snap some senior photos.


Some of us were obviously naturals.

After we arrived in Wilmot, the guys went out shooting pigeons. (Note: they're not real pigeons; they look like frisbees and you throw them with an arm extension piece).

The guys all seemed really happy to be outside shooting their guns together. I was happy to be outside in the gorgeous weather with cool people.
Then, we had some nice time inside eating a delicious meal and talking.


It was such a fun day, and my only regret is that I couldn't have just 10 more minutes catching up with each person and that mom and I couldn't quite beat my cousins in ping pong. (But we're going to be practicing up for next year.)

Christmas Photos

This year, I have thrown away a lot of Christmas photos. It's not that I don't love to receive them, look at them, and nostalgically reflect on friend and family in photo, it's that after that reflection period, I'm just not quite sure what to do with lots of pictures of happy families. I remember the year when I sent out Christmas photos of myself and 3 room-mates. I felt behind at that time. Now, 6 years later, I care less that any photo I might send out in Christmas cards would be my school ping pong photo from work. But obviously, caring less is still caring enough to write about it here.

Maybe words, more than anything else, have been my true gifts this season. Even if I rip up the paper or delete the email, it's the significance of the words that I never throw out. On a card from a boy that I work with at school, in his best hand-writing, "Portia, thank you for the cookies when I'm good." Or the words in another friends' email, "I thought of you the other day." Or maybe the words from another friend in a text message "I'm glad I have a friend like you." Or it might be the words from my brother on the phone, "I can't wait to hang out with you." And finally, the last and loudest words from a mother, "We love you! We're so excited to share this Christmas with you." These words, all framed like photos in my head represent to me, there is at least at times, some good will toward men or rather toward me. But sometimes these words don't come swift enough, and I find myself feeling sad and unsure of love.
And so, when I forget, as I so often do, I must remember to turn my eyes from the praise of others and the glossy faces in photos, and look to the only Words that can bring life.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government shall be upon his shoulders.
And he will be called . . .
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6

The Christmas Carol

Last night, I had the wonderful opportunity to see The Christmas Carol live at the Guthrie Theatre here in Minneapolis. Oh man, it was 3 hours of theatrical delight as the audience together with the actors, were thrown into this classic masterpiece. Not only is the story riveting on its own, the acting, costumes, set design, and music was phenomenal. In fact, I left feeling that we had all made friends with Mr. Scrooge and sadly, that we could all identify with his ba-humbug spirit at different times in our lives. And yes, although we might not all have the money that Mr. Scrooge did, we all have the capacity to harbor coldness in our hearts.

This Christmas season, I have been powerfully reminded not to cling so tightly to pennies, not to count my minutes so closely, not to live so reservedly, in order that I might remember life only becomes joyful in praising the creator of it and sharing it with others.

Grandpa Strasser

I saw my Grandpa Strasser the other day. Sure, it wasn't his same body, mind, or memory, but there was something about him that I knew I had met before. In his shaky hands, runny nose, and pale translucent skin. In his labored words, his kind vacant eyes and stiff lipped smile, I felt my Grandpa smiling back at me. And although maybe we can't just switch people around like that, I did but for a moment. And whenever I see this man and talk with him, I feel strangely like I am getting a few more chances to sit with Grandpa.

Marking Territories (an update)

About a month ago, I wrote a post discussing some frustrations stemming from having so many women in one household. Several people posted some really great advice. I love how you guys have helped change my perspective. This situation has also changed a bit. I no longer try to be aggressive in finding a territory. Jenny, like you suggested, I'm more comfortable to come alongside someone in their territory and praise them for it. I also try to give the situation space when I feel claustrophobic. I don't feel that I have to be in every conversation or hang-out time. This has allowed me to create a territory that I call "mental space." I don't have to share "mental-space" with others. I feel entitled to it, and it helps me know how to relate better to people when I give myself that time and space.

At the same time that I have learned these things, I have also decided to move into an apartment closer to the city, closer to my job, and more ideal for the long-term. Still, I am thankful for these lessons and who knows when I'll find myself living again with lots of women.

Talk Nice to your Food

The other day in class, the Chinese teacher told the students a story that had been printed in the Chinese newspaper. A student had done an experiment with 3 containers of rice. She set each rice container in the fridge. Each day, she opened the lid of the first box and spoke kind words to the rice. To the second box of rice, she did not say anything. Finally, to the third box of rice, she opened the lid and said cruel, cutting things to it. She repeated these same steps everyday for one week. At the end of the week, the first box of rice was white and fluffy; it looked better than it had at the beginning of the experiment. The second box of rice (that had been ignored) looked slightly crusty and yellow as week old rice should look. And the last box of rice that had received the criticism was black and moldy. The moral of this story was that if even rice (an inanimate, unliving object) is so sensitive to our words, how much more so are we as humans sensitive to the words of others. Please speak kind words to your classmates and friends. "请你们对同学和朋友们说好听的话”

An Experiment (Facebook)

About 3 weeks ago, my friend and I did something a little bold, a little wild, a little counter-cultural; we deactivated our facebook accounts. I had been thinking about doing it for a couple months now for several reasons. One of the main reasons was that whenever I logged onto my facebook page, I noticed several things. Mostly, the lack of interesting things and posts on my own page, and secondly the plethora of interesting photos, posts, and comments on a lot of my friends’ pages. This phenomena made me feel kind of dull, flat, and even envious of others’ exciting lives. I also couldn’t help but expend too much thought and energy into the comments I would post on my friends’ pages. I would mentally filter myself as I posted, wondering who might see it and notice my wit or perhaps lack thereof. In a word, facebook made me feel empty. I was forever signing on looking for vitality and purpose, yet I always left it feeling disappointed. So, with the holidays approaching, my friend and I decided it was a good time to take the plunge away from facebook. So far, no major problems. Sure, I’m sure I’ve missed some social functions that are only publicized through facebook, and I haven’t been able to do any “researching” (stalking) on some of my facebook friends. A few people have contacted me and asked me why I am no longer their facebook friend. But for the most part, since deactivating facebook, life has felt less troublesome. I don’t have to worry about having a cool life according to facebook. I’m no longer trying to snap photos that make my life experiences look like something awesome. Each moment, I take as it is; I’m not worried about selling it.

I don’t have to feel behind or panicky when my peers post photos of their first, second, or third children. I don’t have to stay on top of Birthday well wishes or worry about filtering what I am going to write on my friends’ walls. I don’t waste time “researching.” I don’t look for someone online when I’m lonely.

Yes, the result has been quite liberating and has also freed up some extra minutes to enjoy life-giving activities. When formerly, I might have used an extra few minutes here or there to log onto facebook, and check out other people's interesting lives, now I’m not even tempted. Furthermore, the whole appeal of lurking purposely on the computer has also decreased substantially. In general, I feel as though I am tasting life more fully in the moment, being forced to actually pick up the phone or arrange a coffee date to talk with my friends, being pleasantly reminded to enjoy the experiences and people in front of me.

A Date

On this day in December, I had a date.
Up until the last 20 minutes of it, it went very, very well. But if I could change the last 20 minutes for the entire evening, I would not. Why's that? You might be scratching your head.

Well on this day, I learned many things about the relational world that I could not have hoped to realize without this night, this date. I learned that what people claim to be in themselves might be the very opposite of the thing they are trying to resist (in themselves.)

On this day, it was brought to my attention that I am not a tall, blonde, athletic, Swedish girl. But strangely enough, since this comment was made by said gentleman, there has been some divine grace poured out upon me, making me feel more beautiful and confident with every passing second.

On this day, I was painfully reminded that there are some topics that shouldn't be discussed on first dates. Although in the moment it might feel so natural and comfortable to share with first date, and well "he asked," it's still wise to avert deeper issues and wait until a more permanent friendship has been established. After all, why does he need to know or share that personal stuff anyways?

On this day, I decide to be more cautious and less romantic about first dates in the future. Because after all, either there is a second date or you have just wasted a week in anticipation for that first (and last) date with this guy.

On this day, I am very happy to be a single girl, writing about first dates that will lead to nowhere (except perhaps heightened self-reflection) while drinking a cocktail in a basement in Minnesota.