This Was a Fun Day!

This past week, I had the beautiful chance to reconnect with friends from China. Something often happens when you live and work with someone in a foreign country: you become family. And although we haven't seen each other in nearly 2 years, it felt like just yesterday that we were eating noodles, drinking tea, and discussing life in Hengyang. Thanks for a lovely afternoon Chris, Sarah, Devon, and Lynlee!

Tea Shop

One of my favorite places in Hengyang is a yellow tea shop at the front of our campus. The shop is named 向上 (upwards). Not only can we get delicious and cheap coffees, teas, and juices, but the owner and his wife are friendly toward us and very patient with our Chinese.

The other day at the tea shop, I ordered a "machiatto" which is a new drink they have (similar to a machiatto from Starbucks but less strong.) Some visitors to our city pointed to my cup and asked, "Is this Starbucks?"
"More or less" I said. "It's our Hengyang Starbucks." And that's the truth. Hengyang Starbucks and friendly store owners, I will really miss you next year.

(The owner and his wife. They are 25 and have a 4 year old daughter. They think I'm a little bit behind on my life phases, but that's okay.)

Here are my top five favorite drinks to order at the tea shop:
1. Cold lemon black tea (has real slices of lemon in it)
2. Korean style, mango tea
3. Wu long flavored milk tea
4. Iced machiatto
5. Vanilla tea

We just ordered our drinks and feeling good about life.

Sunday afternoon Walk

Good idea--biking along the river-walk on a sunny day.

This man's pose reminded me of a hobbit enjoying a sunny day in the Shire.

Caroline and Jenn were pretty insistent we stop and take some "senior portraits" (wink, wink).


A river shack / boat...I think it might be a gas station.
I like how this photo shows the dichotomy between the old and the modern in China.

This man is wearing some kind of battery pack that has a wire connected to his fishing equipment. When he puts the wand in the water, there is a buzzing, and when the fish touch the wand, they receive an electric shock. (Okay, actually I have no idea how this "wand" works. I'm just making a wild, uneducated guess.)

Sleeping on the job or working in his sleep. . .

Hao Zou. . .

I have posted before about funeral traditions in Hengyang, but I've never actually experienced one first hand until last week-end. I was sitting around feeling lethargic and distracted, wondering about the week-end plans, wishing my friends were more initiative. Well, I should know that whenever I feel this way in Hengyang, the feeling lasts about all of an hour before something demanding and unexpected happens. And this day time was no exception.

One of my closest local friends, a mid 20 year old entrepenuer named "Ivy," called me to say her grandfather was "dead" or "dying." I wasn't sure, but I knew it was serious. I offered to accompany her to his house and she surprisingly agreed (I now interpret agreeabilityas a yes in Chinese culture). When we got to her grandparent's place, her grandfather was still alive, covered in blankets on a hospital bed and breathing very heavily. Ivy's grandmother was moaning and bustling around in what seemed like one fluid moment. Ivy's relatives were also busying themselves, taking turns standing by his side, calling Ivy's uncle and cousins who lives in the States, and monitoring his pulse.

Ivy's mom is a nurse, and she is also a strong believer. I had brought the chinese / english book with me, and she read Psalm 23 out loud to her father. She also came over and told me how she had taken him to the fellowship place just two weeks ago, and although he could not talk, his eyes were wide and alert as she shared with him. As I looked over at this old man, clearly in pain, barely hanging on, I prayed that the work had already happened in his heart, and now I asked that the Father might release him from the prison of his broken-down, weary body.

The last time I had seen Ivy's grandfather, had been nearly a year ago when Ivy called me on the phone hysterical and said, "My grandpa's fallen off the ladder and the doctor said he has bleeding in his head." That time, I accompanied Ivy to the hospital where her grandfather was also breathing incredibly heavily and also bleeding from his ear and clearly in immense pain. Since that day, one year ago, he has not been able to communicate and has been largely confined to a bed or a chair. Since that day, he had also had trouble eating and digesting food and never been able to fully recover his strength.

And now, here I sat with Ivy and her family a year later. After about an hour, the family had gotten something similar to skype set up so Ivy's grandfather could see his son in the states and hear his voice. It was shortly after that moment, that his breathing became gaspy and I knew his condition had turned as the family crowded around his bed and started crying and begging him to hang on. I heard clearly, Ivy's mother saying to her father "Ba ba, hao zou" which means basically "Father, may your journey be smooth." And, then he was released.

This moment was the most emotional one I have ever experienced in my time in China. The few pouches of handkerchiefs hardly seemed to be enough for the family. I was reminded not only of Ivy and her family's farewell, but on a personal note, our family's farewell to Grandpa Friesen a little more than a year ago. Although I could not be there for his passing, I got to be there for my friend as she faced the reality. I was humbled, thankful, and melancholy through the experience.

Oh man, there is so much more to write. There were so many things that happened after this moment related to funerals, and local traditions but let me rest here.

Visit Friend's New Apartment, Check!

This past week-end, I got to visit our friend and foreign affair worker's new house. (Number 11 on my "To Do List.") We had a very memorable time. One of our Chinese friends also got invited to her house, and I think in hindsight, that helped to balance the time for everyone. (i.e. when people didn't want to speak a foreign language, they could comfortably talk to another native speaker.) Our friend picked us up from the bus stop at about 3:30 in her husband's car (he was working the entire time). We first toured her apartment... then went on a lovely, leisurely stroll outside to see the neighborhood.

This is her bedroom. It's quite common to put large, framed wedding photos up around your apartment in China. Usually I can't recognize my friends in their wedding photos because of all the make-up and wigs.

This is her living room. It's nice and spacious. Amber and i are playing baseball on Fei's wii; I'm pitching and Amber's batting; she struck out. Also, notice more wedding photos on the far wall.
Our friend was a great hostess, preparing us traditional tea serving us a delicious fruit salad that even included star fruit and mayonnaise for dipping. Yummy!

The photos below is a space similar to a 3 season room or a porch. On their porch, they have a majong table, a traditional Chinese game played with four players, domino like playing pieces, and dice. And sometimes majong involves "small" cash.
A lot of the apartment complexes in her neighborhood looked a bit like Hollywood. We joked about how we felt like we were famous walking around among all the nice apartments.

Photos from week

(It's not every year I have a silver tinsel tree. A couple of friends helped me to decorate it.)

(More KTV or karaoke with students)


(Some dishes at a local restaurant. Notice the variety of vegetables and the oil pooling at the bottom.)

(Freshman students practicing an English song for the upcoming Christmas "party" at school.)

(Students heading to class in the English building.)

Haiku's written on peaceful Sunday afternoon

(The following haiku's reflect neighborhood life here in Hengyang.)

When outside comes in

peaceful, vivid voices move

like flowing curtains.

Greedy fireworks explode

in the dark outside my window

I awake, alone.

Smoke from the East & West

hazing up the crowded streets

nothing is untouched.

He weevils to and fro

his arms and legs smothered

The little emperor rules.

Grandma’s with no teeth

smile chasing after chickens

Grandpas look away.

Scouring through rubbish

finding treasure or at least

the next meal.

The shopkeeper

The word for pistachio in Chinese is literally translated "happy nut" (开心果)。The other day, I bought myself a little package of this delightful treat and explained to the shopkeeper how nuts make a healthy snack. He looked at me withwarning eyes and said, "but you shouldn't eat too many, or it's easy to get fat." I waved the small little package in front of him and asked, "Is this considered a lot of nuts? Plus, it will take me 3 or 4 days to eat this package." He looked at me in surprise and asked, "How?"
"Self-control" I responded.
I really enjoy all the little health tips the shop keeper gives. It doesn't really matter what I buy, he always throws in some extra advice for free. When I buy tea, he will tell me that it's better to buy the tea leaves and not the bottles of tea. When I buy milk, he will ask me how I use it and scold me when I tell him it's for coffee. "Coffee is not good for you."
As of recent, the boss has often not been in the store and instead, one of his relatives will be working the counter. The relative will ask you how much the item is that you want to buy. If you don't remember how much it costs, they just might refuse to sell it to you because they are afraid of cheating you.

Around the Town Photos

(Shoe shiner ladies)



Hengyang, a crossroads

Thoughts on orphans

This semester, I have been going more regularly to the welfare center in Hengyang. The center is divided into two parts. One side is run by the Chinese government. On the other side, the Chinese government has agreed to allow a non-profit group based out of the UK come in and take over operations of this part of the center. The 2 sides are noticeably different. Previously, I had never volunteered at the government side until this semester. Since starting to volunteer on the government side, I have seen some really difficult things that I don't really know how to process. I wish I could show you so you too could look into their sad eyes, see their weak little bodies, and help me know how to be a light in this place.

The other day, I took a Chinese sister with me into the room to help feed the kids and play with them. When we left, she looked pretty gloomy and asked quietly, “Why would God allow people to remain in conditions like that?” To this question, I also don’t know. I stumbled around for some deep theological answer about suffering and pain in the world. “It’s a result of sin in this world. Because of sin, disease and defects enter the world. Because of sin, we have the natural disasters that wipe out entire villages and islands.” As the words were leaving my mouth, they tasted sour, and I also felt dissatisfied with this answer. I still wrestle with how a God who provides for the widow and the orphans seems to be overlooking whole orphanage rooms around the world. I feel a little bit hopeless for these kids.

But I also know that despite the fact that most of these kids have been abandoned, they do know love in that they know how to show it. The other day when I went in to visit, one mentally alert girl with cerebral palsy gave me a huge grin and with crippled arms reached out to pull me in for a hug. And then, she carefully turned my head and gave me a kiss on the ear. I think my eyes might have been as bright as Christmas lights to receive a kiss from this sweet girl who spends most of her time sitting on a wood board or the toilet chair.

Only a few feet away from this lovely girl roams another child whom I find more difficult to love. This girl, Lulu, unlike all the other kids in the room has a strong and healthy body. But she also suffers from autism. If you were to visit, you might see Lulu walking around the different rooms holding a bag of big lego blocks or softly moaning (crying) when she wants something and doesn’t get it. This is Lulu on a good day. But when Lulu doesn’t get enough attention or gets bored, or who knows why, she will hurt the other kids (many of whom cannot use their arms or legs) by pushing over the little car-seat like chairs where these kids sit for the entire day. It’s a little too terrible to recount exactly here, but you can imagine what kind of injury these little weak kids incur on behalf of Lulu’s tantrums. After one of these incidents the other day, I held Lulu’s arms and told her that we loved her but that she couldn’t do that to the other kids. She screamed and bit her wrist. I held on tighter to her arms to prevent her from biting. While I was holding her arms, I looked directly into her eyes and was met with something very strange. A challenge of the spirits if you will.

As you’re reading this, you might be wondering where the people are who take care of these kids. They are also in the room, usually about 2 or 3 of them. They are responsible for 20 kids whom they stay with the entire month, day and night, except for a 2 day rest once every month. Needless to say, they do not have enough man power or emotional energy to spend on disciplining kids like Lulu or nurturing the other kids. So, most of the time, you might find the care-takers sitting off away from the kids making knitting house shoes. It might be easy to judge these care-takers, but I wonder if I would even be sane anymore if I had to work as long of hours as they do and see as much heart ache as they have. These observations have just been the initial ones. There are many more things to express and to process, but it’s hard to get them all digested for obvious reasons. Thoughts?