Jason obviously thought that was strange and a little uncomfortable but he agreed to his friend. His friend grasped him tight and gave him a full frontal bear hug. At first, Jason giggled a little bit, but then his giggles turned into sobs and he let all his sad frustrations go while his friend just held him. . . and said nothing. Jason's point in writing this song was that sometimes we are too quick to think we have the answers to someone's grief or problems. But when we do that, we negate their grief as if we don't value it. I hope that I can be a friend who is there for my friends in the same way that Jason's friend was there for him.
Showing posts with label friend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friend. Show all posts
Sunday, April 06, 2014
"Not Right Now" by Jason Gray
Alright--I am loving Jason Gray's new cd. His songs are so down to earth and full of truth. During his recent concert, he prefaced the following song by sharing a personal story about a time when he was really struggling with life. He confided in one of his buddies what he was going through. After he finished sharing his hardships with his friend, his friend didn't say anything about his struggles but told Jason: "Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to hug you for two minutes, and you are going to let me."
Jason obviously thought that was strange and a little uncomfortable but he agreed to his friend. His friend grasped him tight and gave him a full frontal bear hug. At first, Jason giggled a little bit, but then his giggles turned into sobs and he let all his sad frustrations go while his friend just held him. . . and said nothing. Jason's point in writing this song was that sometimes we are too quick to think we have the answers to someone's grief or problems. But when we do that, we negate their grief as if we don't value it. I hope that I can be a friend who is there for my friends in the same way that Jason's friend was there for him.
Jason obviously thought that was strange and a little uncomfortable but he agreed to his friend. His friend grasped him tight and gave him a full frontal bear hug. At first, Jason giggled a little bit, but then his giggles turned into sobs and he let all his sad frustrations go while his friend just held him. . . and said nothing. Jason's point in writing this song was that sometimes we are too quick to think we have the answers to someone's grief or problems. But when we do that, we negate their grief as if we don't value it. I hope that I can be a friend who is there for my friends in the same way that Jason's friend was there for him.
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Friends & Jogging
They say that in dating, we often end up with the person who, when we look to our right or our left, is that person running at the same speed and heading in the same direction as we are. I'd like to propose that this is also generally true for how we choose our close friends. Usually they end up becoming the people who are running beside us in similar life stages or heading in a similar life direction.
So I look to my left, and glance over my shoulder to my right, and there I see my fellow runners, my friends. All unique in their ideas, refined by their trials, shining in their faith. In their strengths, I see my weaknesses; I wonder if they have the same feelings when they look at me.
And I give them all mental high fives, and we keep on running, sometimes set back by life, sometimes slowing down to be redirected, but always making our way forward.
So I look to my left, and glance over my shoulder to my right, and there I see my fellow runners, my friends. All unique in their ideas, refined by their trials, shining in their faith. In their strengths, I see my weaknesses; I wonder if they have the same feelings when they look at me.
And I give them all mental high fives, and we keep on running, sometimes set back by life, sometimes slowing down to be redirected, but always making our way forward.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
TEM-4 and the Cinema
Tomorrow, we are showing an English movie, Cheaper by the Dozen, for our sophomore students to celebrate the completion of their TEM-4 exam. Originally, we had planned to have a big party for all our students, but since together we teach about 800 students, it just wasn't practical.
If you think of it in the next 24 hours or so..lift up our students. This exam is a big deal for them; they get two chances to pass it, this year and next year. If they don't pass it, they can't technically graduate from the University. Most of the students have been sacrificing what little extra time they have to stay in the library and prepare for this test. As I was heading to class today, one student said "the end of the world is tomorrow" (referring to the test). That's how much of an intense reality this test is for students. So, hopefully they will be able to have a right attitude about this test and if things don't go well, we also hope they feel comfortable enough to talk with us.
On an unrelated note, 2 weeks ago, I went to the cinema in Hengyang with my friend. We saw an English movie called "War in Los Angeles" or something like that. It was about aliens attacking the world. I wouldn't actually choose to ever watch this movie on my own volition, but my friend said she heard it was good, and I just went with the flow.
Then, my friend took me to a spa. Sounds nice, huh?
Actually, it was a big awkward. My friend said we should have a shower before the "spa". Okay, no problem except the workers (2 or 3 young girls) were just hanging out in our room as we were supposed to undress and put on a robe to go have a shower. Yeah, I was reminded of shower time after PE class all over again. The shower was nice though and in its own private room. They they massaged our faces for a bit and put some type of mask on us. The mask made our faces whiter...do you notice? I decided I don't love masks...especially when they cover up your eyes. After the "spa" experience, I let my friend put eye make-up on me. It was a bit thick, but I think she enjoyed it. It was about 10:00 when we finished these two activities; then we had dinner.
If you think of it in the next 24 hours or so..lift up our students. This exam is a big deal for them; they get two chances to pass it, this year and next year. If they don't pass it, they can't technically graduate from the University. Most of the students have been sacrificing what little extra time they have to stay in the library and prepare for this test. As I was heading to class today, one student said "the end of the world is tomorrow" (referring to the test). That's how much of an intense reality this test is for students. So, hopefully they will be able to have a right attitude about this test and if things don't go well, we also hope they feel comfortable enough to talk with us.
On an unrelated note, 2 weeks ago, I went to the cinema in Hengyang with my friend. We saw an English movie called "War in Los Angeles" or something like that. It was about aliens attacking the world. I wouldn't actually choose to ever watch this movie on my own volition, but my friend said she heard it was good, and I just went with the flow.Then, my friend took me to a spa. Sounds nice, huh?
Actually, it was a big awkward. My friend said we should have a shower before the "spa". Okay, no problem except the workers (2 or 3 young girls) were just hanging out in our room as we were supposed to undress and put on a robe to go have a shower. Yeah, I was reminded of shower time after PE class all over again. The shower was nice though and in its own private room. They they massaged our faces for a bit and put some type of mask on us. The mask made our faces whiter...do you notice? I decided I don't love masks...especially when they cover up your eyes. After the "spa" experience, I let my friend put eye make-up on me. It was a bit thick, but I think she enjoyed it. It was about 10:00 when we finished these two activities; then we had dinner.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Hao Zou. . .
I have posted before about funeral traditions in Hengyang, but I've never actually experienced one first hand until last week-end. I was sitting around feeling lethargic and distracted, wondering about the week-end plans, wishing my friends were more initiative. Well, I should know that whenever I feel this way in Hengyang, the feeling lasts about all of an hour before something demanding and unexpected happens. And this day time was no exception.
One of my closest local friends, a mid 20 year old entrepenuer named "Ivy," called me to say her grandfather was "dead" or "dying." I wasn't sure, but I knew it was serious. I offered to accompany her to his house and she surprisingly agreed (I now interpret agreeabilityas a yes in Chinese culture). When we got to her grandparent's place, her grandfather was still alive, covered in blankets on a hospital bed and breathing very heavily. Ivy's grandmother was moaning and bustling around in what seemed like one fluid moment. Ivy's relatives were also busying themselves, taking turns standing by his side, calling Ivy's uncle and cousins who lives in the States, and monitoring his pulse.
Ivy's mom is a nurse, and she is also a strong believer. I had brought the chinese / english book with me, and she read Psalm 23 out loud to her father. She also came over and told me how she had taken him to the fellowship place just two weeks ago, and although he could not talk, his eyes were wide and alert as she shared with him. As I looked over at this old man, clearly in pain, barely hanging on, I prayed that the work had already happened in his heart, and now I asked that the Father might release him from the prison of his broken-down, weary body.
The last time I had seen Ivy's grandfather, had been nearly a year ago when Ivy called me on the phone hysterical and said, "My grandpa's fallen off the ladder and the doctor said he has bleeding in his head." That time, I accompanied Ivy to the hospital where her grandfather was also breathing incredibly heavily and also bleeding from his ear and clearly in immense pain. Since that day, one year ago, he has not been able to communicate and has been largely confined to a bed or a chair. Since that day, he had also had trouble eating and digesting food and never been able to fully recover his strength.
And now, here I sat with Ivy and her family a year later. After about an hour, the family had gotten something similar to skype set up so Ivy's grandfather could see his son in the states and hear his voice. It was shortly after that moment, that his breathing became gaspy and I knew his condition had turned as the family crowded around his bed and started crying and begging him to hang on. I heard clearly, Ivy's mother saying to her father "Ba ba, hao zou" which means basically "Father, may your journey be smooth." And, then he was released.
This moment was the most emotional one I have ever experienced in my time in China. The few pouches of handkerchiefs hardly seemed to be enough for the family. I was reminded not only of Ivy and her family's farewell, but on a personal note, our family's farewell to Grandpa Friesen a little more than a year ago. Although I could not be there for his passing, I got to be there for my friend as she faced the reality. I was humbled, thankful, and melancholy through the experience.
Oh man, there is so much more to write. There were so many things that happened after this moment related to funerals, and local traditions but let me rest here.
One of my closest local friends, a mid 20 year old entrepenuer named "Ivy," called me to say her grandfather was "dead" or "dying." I wasn't sure, but I knew it was serious. I offered to accompany her to his house and she surprisingly agreed (I now interpret agreeabilityas a yes in Chinese culture). When we got to her grandparent's place, her grandfather was still alive, covered in blankets on a hospital bed and breathing very heavily. Ivy's grandmother was moaning and bustling around in what seemed like one fluid moment. Ivy's relatives were also busying themselves, taking turns standing by his side, calling Ivy's uncle and cousins who lives in the States, and monitoring his pulse.
Ivy's mom is a nurse, and she is also a strong believer. I had brought the chinese / english book with me, and she read Psalm 23 out loud to her father. She also came over and told me how she had taken him to the fellowship place just two weeks ago, and although he could not talk, his eyes were wide and alert as she shared with him. As I looked over at this old man, clearly in pain, barely hanging on, I prayed that the work had already happened in his heart, and now I asked that the Father might release him from the prison of his broken-down, weary body.
The last time I had seen Ivy's grandfather, had been nearly a year ago when Ivy called me on the phone hysterical and said, "My grandpa's fallen off the ladder and the doctor said he has bleeding in his head." That time, I accompanied Ivy to the hospital where her grandfather was also breathing incredibly heavily and also bleeding from his ear and clearly in immense pain. Since that day, one year ago, he has not been able to communicate and has been largely confined to a bed or a chair. Since that day, he had also had trouble eating and digesting food and never been able to fully recover his strength.
And now, here I sat with Ivy and her family a year later. After about an hour, the family had gotten something similar to skype set up so Ivy's grandfather could see his son in the states and hear his voice. It was shortly after that moment, that his breathing became gaspy and I knew his condition had turned as the family crowded around his bed and started crying and begging him to hang on. I heard clearly, Ivy's mother saying to her father "Ba ba, hao zou" which means basically "Father, may your journey be smooth." And, then he was released.
This moment was the most emotional one I have ever experienced in my time in China. The few pouches of handkerchiefs hardly seemed to be enough for the family. I was reminded not only of Ivy and her family's farewell, but on a personal note, our family's farewell to Grandpa Friesen a little more than a year ago. Although I could not be there for his passing, I got to be there for my friend as she faced the reality. I was humbled, thankful, and melancholy through the experience.
Oh man, there is so much more to write. There were so many things that happened after this moment related to funerals, and local traditions but let me rest here.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
A Lesson in Chinese Ideology
About 3 days ago, I met a Chinese friend of mine at McDonald’s. This friend is very interested in all things related to politics, government, and philosophy and is studying for his Masters in Beijing. Somehow, right from the beginning of our conversation, he started to share about the Cultural changes that happened nearly 50 years ago in China. I was surprised by his openness in acknowledging some of the bad things that happened during that time. However, he clearly articulated his respect for several ideologies that Chairman Mao brought to the Chinese people. Specifically, he respected the following three beliefs:
1. “People can conquer nature.”
“As humans, we can change nature by building dams and rerouting rivers,” said my friend, “therefore to a certain extent, we can control nature.” My friend admitted that while people cannot always conquer nature (as when floods and earthquakes devastate whole villages and cities), he pointed out that it’s the spirit of the belief that is encouraging.
2. “Truth has to be found in practice.” or “To experience is to believe.”
This belief was used during the cultural changes to rationalize sending university students into the fields to learn the “truth” of what it meant to be a peasant.
3. “We should respect facts.” (Ideology as inferior to facts)
In response to this, I asked my friend if the facts lie to us or if they change with time? My friend emphasized that sometimes the truth is hidden behind the facts for example when the facts only refer to a certain time or place. This conversation led us to the discussion of truth where my friend pointed out “There is no absolute truth.” It took me awhile to explain to him how that sentence on its own could not be a logical statement, but we got there.
After we had talked about these heady topics and several other off-shoots of them for almost 2 hours, it was time to go. “But we haven’t even talked about life,” said my friend. But for me, I had learned more about life and perspective of Chinese people than I often learn in an entire semester.
1. “People can conquer nature.”
“As humans, we can change nature by building dams and rerouting rivers,” said my friend, “therefore to a certain extent, we can control nature.” My friend admitted that while people cannot always conquer nature (as when floods and earthquakes devastate whole villages and cities), he pointed out that it’s the spirit of the belief that is encouraging.
2. “Truth has to be found in practice.” or “To experience is to believe.”
This belief was used during the cultural changes to rationalize sending university students into the fields to learn the “truth” of what it meant to be a peasant.
3. “We should respect facts.” (Ideology as inferior to facts)
In response to this, I asked my friend if the facts lie to us or if they change with time? My friend emphasized that sometimes the truth is hidden behind the facts for example when the facts only refer to a certain time or place. This conversation led us to the discussion of truth where my friend pointed out “There is no absolute truth.” It took me awhile to explain to him how that sentence on its own could not be a logical statement, but we got there.
After we had talked about these heady topics and several other off-shoots of them for almost 2 hours, it was time to go. “But we haven’t even talked about life,” said my friend. But for me, I had learned more about life and perspective of Chinese people than I often learn in an entire semester.
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