Flashback Post:
I learned something today about living in a new culture,
even though I am still living here in Minnesota. In one of my graduate classes,
we were talking about the experience of culture shock. One student was
particularly anxious to share her ideas: She was frustrated with the place,
frustrated with people who did not care about her and who didn’t have time for
her. Frustrated that there was nothing to do but sit in her dorm room,
frustrated that she didn’t have access to good shopping without a car.
Frustrated with the weather. frustrated that people might say hi one time and
then ignore her the next time. In all her explanation of culture shock, the
rest of the class started to feel heavy and guilty. I myself started to shift uncomfortably
in my chair.
And I realized several things—when people ask to hear about your experience in their country, they don’t want to hear of all the negative experiences and loneliness you might be feeling. Even though you might feel this way, this is not the place to express it.
As this student continued to lament how miserable she was here and how selfish everyone is, I started to feel some resentment toward this fellow student. Who is she to tell us that we are unfriendly, that we don’t have time for her, that we are self-focused.
Does she know of the pressure we face daily? We are not from the Mediterranean—we were not raised to value relaxation and socializing. We were taught efficiency and hard-work--the keys to a good life, to good self-esteem. And yet I couldn’t help but wonder if she didn’t have a point. Why do we value things such as "hard work" and "efficiency?" Are we better off for these values? It’s hard to know. I’m confused about life right now. But, I did realize that the native people do not want to hear about your negative perceptions of them or their country. So, when I am in China or any other country, I need to be sure that I do not focus on the negatives, but appreciate the experience for what it is, a new one.
And I realized several things—when people ask to hear about your experience in their country, they don’t want to hear of all the negative experiences and loneliness you might be feeling. Even though you might feel this way, this is not the place to express it.
As this student continued to lament how miserable she was here and how selfish everyone is, I started to feel some resentment toward this fellow student. Who is she to tell us that we are unfriendly, that we don’t have time for her, that we are self-focused.
Does she know of the pressure we face daily? We are not from the Mediterranean—we were not raised to value relaxation and socializing. We were taught efficiency and hard-work--the keys to a good life, to good self-esteem. And yet I couldn’t help but wonder if she didn’t have a point. Why do we value things such as "hard work" and "efficiency?" Are we better off for these values? It’s hard to know. I’m confused about life right now. But, I did realize that the native people do not want to hear about your negative perceptions of them or their country. So, when I am in China or any other country, I need to be sure that I do not focus on the negatives, but appreciate the experience for what it is, a new one.
(This post was written in April, 2007)
No comments:
Post a Comment