On Engagement

One of my good friends just got engaged! I am so excited for her and her fiancé. And yet, I do not envy that process of being engaged. Being engaged is kind of like being in limbo for a bit and then having to make some stressful decisions.

Here are just a few possible stressors during the engagement time:

1. Some decisions that would eventually become "our" decisions were still "individual" decisions. We   still sought input from the other person, but ultimately we each made our own choices. For example, we decided not to merge our bank accounts until after we got married even though our financial purchases before getting married would effect both of us after we got married.

2. I wanted to be with Rob all the time, but I couldn't . . . yet.

3. We had to spend a lot of money on things that we maybe did not really care about.  But for whatever reason, we were sucked into believing that we needed those things. Some superfluous things I spent money on included: rehearsal dress, shoes, earrings, make-up, hair-do, etc.

4. There is a lot of organizational work to be completed including making a guest list, ordering invitations, making a seating chart, figuring out the order of ceremony, etc. etc. All these things sometimes felt a little bit like work. Good thing I like hanging out with Rob so much that I didn't mind (too much.)

However, being engaged is also really an important part of the marriage process.  After going through it, I cannot imagine what being married would be like without that engagement period. In a way, it is like going through a lot of small merging processes together. We were making decisions together about living location, further education, money, faith, and the wedding itself. All these joint decision helped us on that day when we finally became one through marriage.

Rob and I also got to do some fun things while we were engaged. We made sure we still had a date night every week. We tried to keep our planning light-hearted and limit our wedding planning discussions to one or two times a week.  We went to pre-marital counseling and were able to prepare for some of the areas where we were less compatible.  And, we got to take these awesome engagement photos that still make me smile and blush like a school girl whenever I see them.