Last night, our team invited some of our teacher friends out to a restaurant to have a meal. Since we had done the inviting, we also planned to do the treating (as in we would eat the bill.) With this in mind, we wanted to make sure we got some of our favorite dishes at this higher scale restaurant. At the beginning, it looked like we would be able to order without any outside influence. My team-mate and I hovered by the door with the torso sized picture menu. We had spotted a couple of options right when our Chinese friend waved us over and said, "Let me help." "No!" I screamed in my head. I was selfishly not ready to sacrifice this chance to eat good food in exchange for eating donkey, frog, and other strange spicy meat. I realized at that moment just how selfish I was. What does it really matter if I have to eat ambiguous meat products for one more meal? It was a humbling realization.
Fortunately though, through another passing of the menu and some aggression on my part, we were able to reclaim ownership over the ordering. We successfully ordered a few sweet dishes and some mild vegetable dishes. And, our friend had only ordered 2 dishes that were questionable: pig stomach and chainsaw chicken, both of which were not too bad. He got his pig stomach, we got our sweet, fried bread. I guess we all won, yet I am still haunted. I'm haunted by life here. I'm haunted by how life here draws out my baseness.