Friday, September 10, 2010

Letters to people in Chinese Supermarkets:

Dear Cosmetic Floorworkers,
Just because I stand and look at a product for longer than 5 seconds, does not mean that I want to a) know more about the product, b) hear about a cheaper product or c) have you apply some of said product to my arm.

Dear Beef Hackers,
Your stainless steel table stands in the middle of sausage racks and fruit stands. You chop ribs and divide stomach on demand. I wonder if anyone has ever explained to management the benefits and necessity of refrigerating raw meat? I watch as the meat turns a brighter shade of red under the Hunan humidity and my passing gaze. Today, I think I will buy chicken, frozen chicken.

Dear Fish Tossers,
When you toss fish from one smelly tank to another in the middle of the grocery store, the water from the diving fish splashes out and hits unexpecting customers in awkward places. Is this tank water clean? If we look at some of the fish already floating belly up, we might suppose otherwise.

Dear Pig Foot Torchers,
Who did you double cross to get such an unfortunate job at the supermarket. Who thought up the job of torching the legs of pigs? What is the purpose? And why must you do this job in the corner on the floor in the supermarket?

Dear workers who weigh vegetables,
You are not getting paid enough. The groups of 20 to 30 people all waiting, yelling at you, pushing each other, shoving stalks of green onions, bags of apples, and bunches of cauliflower unto your scale. They are all waiting, but not in anything that resembles a line.

Dear Chinese Grannie,
If you have enough energy to push me in order to cut in front of me and my friend in the check-out line, then you have enough energy to move your frail little body over to another line or to get behind us and wait your turn. And in case you think that because we are foreign faces, we are mute and incompetent, you are wrong as you found out yesterday.

Dear Chinese Supermarket,
You can keep your yogurt, butter, Maxwell instant coffee, chicken breasts, Nestle soft-batch cookies, Italian noodles, and peanut butter. For all the great things you offer us, sometimes I would do better to ignore your temptations and stay far away.

1 comment:

Norman & Joyce said...

Not self serve? Oh the fun you have shopping.