Wednesday, March 07, 2012

When I wasn't Looking, . .

This is an overdue post. If you follow this blog at all, you might have noticed I was kind of going through a slump this whole past semester. I guess some parts of life have been difficult, but the parts that don't always come through on this blog is the joy that the Father has supplied me daily. He has given me extra amounts of joy to help me through lots of new experiences and challenges. Unfortunately though, I have found that Joy (although divine to experience) is not so interesting to blog about. So I just write mostly about negative things even though I am a positive person.

Anyways, the week after coming back to the Twin Cities was particularly difficult. I felt sad realizing the implications of not living with a family. In a family, there is always someone to distract you or some family event to join. All the sudden, I had all this time and I wasn't sure how to use it. I have plenty of goals, people to call, and ways that I could of course use the time, but I found myself craving companionship and missing my own family (after a blissful holiday vacation with them.) So I speeded time in my mind and wondered when the dark clouds would lift; I thought about moving home.

But that same week, the clouds lifted on Tuesday evening at a Going Deeper praise and worship time at my church. All the sudden, I was not sad nor worried. I knew that the Father was working at meeting me and that He knew my loneliness intimately. The joy started to increase again and even bubble over in the form of laughter at work and at home. And then a couple days later, there was a knock on our office door at school. And it was my single male colleague and he was asking me on a date. Seeing that he was nervous and sincere gave me some kind of strange confidence, and I coquettishly said "What did you have in mind?"

And the strange part of this story happened for me when, unlike all other guys, this one has continued to ask me, to pursue me, and I have continued to say yes. And because it's been so enjoyable and lovely, there has been little to write about. How does one write about satisfaction and affection? How does one express this feeling that although you are in a public place, you are unaware of everyone else except that other person. How do you express that when you see this person, you cannot help but smile. . . and smile big. But it doesn't even matter, because he is smiling too and looking at you like he is the lucky one.


Drew and Rachel said...

yeah, he is the lucky one!

bartiste said...

Portia, that's wonderful and lovely! Glad for the joy God is bringing to your life in various ways. He's good. :) It's a good reminder for me as I'm in a stage where it can be harder to recognize the joy.