Tomorrow I start a new job.
I feel a little inadequate. I will be a paraprofessional (teacher's aide) at a Chinese immersion school in the Twin Cities. The main task will be working with different students who have learning disabilities or who need some extra help in different subjects. Did I mention that I am a bit overwhelmed and feel in over my head?
Last week, I went to the school a couple of days to get my feet wet and learn the environment. In the very first classroom, I was thrown into helping students complete a story problem worksheet (all questions written in Chinese of course.) One boy looked at me and said, "Teacher, how do I write the 'zero' in Chinese."
I had no idea. "Don't worry about that problem" I redirected him while thinking to myself "Crap!" And that's pretty much how I have felt the rest of the week, "Crap."
I am nowhere near a master of Chinese, and I was never good at Math even when it was in English. On top of that, I don't have any experience working with kids who have some special learning needs. And here I go to bed knowing that tomorrow will be a day full of all that.
However, there is peace that comes with accepting that the first week, and likely the first month, will be hard. I will stumble a lot. I will have to ask others for help. I will likely seem incompetent to some and overly confident to others. But, I am not here as a pleaser of men, and this job seems part of some big plan I can't make out or understand. So, welcome in emotions of peace and joy; you are needed here.