Well, I have just officially finished teaching my last section here at MSU in the States. How do I feel? Not so good--kind of empty and hollow inside and wondering what I could have done better and different. I wish that I had more energy or passion for teaching. I know that teaching should be the teacher's greatest joy, but I do not feel like it is such a great joy for me. It is something I do--it's part of my identity that I hold at a distance; I don't tell people I am a teacher--I fear it will make them wonder at my age, my ability, my competency.
When will this feeling change? Is it just the day? I don't know, but since I am preparing to go teach in China, I hope that the feeling evaporates with the Spring weather. Perhaps a new semester, a new curriculum, new goals, and new experiences will be the boost I need to feel excited about this coming endeavor.
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