Today was a memorable day for me. I completed my first ever half marathon, that’s 13.1 miles of discomfort. According to an article in Runner’s World, when people finish a long distance run, they have moments of great revelations; I just felt nauseous and lethargic. However, I do have a few reflections from the day:
1. The body is an amazing machine; the mind is a foe to be reckoned with.
2. Dogs are scarier and bigger in America than they are in China.
3. Saying good-bye to family never gets easier.
Thanks for a great week-end family! I love you and miss you already!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
On Faith and Love
Because I'm not articulate enough on my own, I have to rely on other people's work. But I can't keep from sharing tehse two paragraphs describing vividly the risks involved in faith and love. From Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving:
"To have faith requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointemnt. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot have faith; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense, where distance and possession are his means of security, makes himself a prisoner. To be loved, and to love, need courage, the courage to judge certain values as of ultimate concern--and to take the jump and stake everything on these values" (106).
Fromm goes on to connect the risk involved in faith as being similar to the risk involved in love. "To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love" ( 107).
Thank you Fromm for being brilliant and for uncovering the human fears so clearly.
"To have faith requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointemnt. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot have faith; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense, where distance and possession are his means of security, makes himself a prisoner. To be loved, and to love, need courage, the courage to judge certain values as of ultimate concern--and to take the jump and stake everything on these values" (106).
Fromm goes on to connect the risk involved in faith as being similar to the risk involved in love. "To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love" ( 107).
Thank you Fromm for being brilliant and for uncovering the human fears so clearly.
Friday, August 20, 2010
The ethics of Photos
Yesterday I was organizing and deleting old photos from my computer. There were a few photos that made me smile, some that made me nostalgic, and others that just annoyed me. Mostly, I'm annoyed that I have to delete a bunch of mediocre photos of people too relaxed or scenery too raw to be aesthetically pleasing. Which leads me to wonder, why do I take photos in the first place? I certainly don't enjoy it, and I also don't enjoy sifting through them. So if I'm honest with myself, I must confront the fact that the reason I take photos is to share them with people in order that people will think I have a cool or noteworthy life. With that said, I'm not going to bother with photos this year. If I post any on here, they will be of the mundane or the comical and they will preferably be taken by other people.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Last night, I helped out at the Turner County ice cream booth. From the get-go, we knew it was going to be one of those evenings that never slowed down. When we did have a lull, which could hardly under different circumstances be considered a lull, we tried to stock ice cream, wash dirty pails, and stay hydrated. We also talked to each other in order that we didn’t go crazy. One of the other workers in the booth said it best. “When you’re scooping ice cream, your world becomes the pail of ice cream before you.” She expressed so beautifully the same emotion I was experiencing last night as a scooper. Each pail in front of me and each scoop had a slightly different feel as I moved it quickly from the pail to the Styrofoam bowl. “Work your magic” I wished the little bowls as I topped them off with the black, awkward spoon. As I scooped, different adjectives for the ice cream started running around in my mind: “creamy, smooth, velvety, gritty, cold, grainy, malty, light, fluffy, dense” and on and on the adjectives cycled depending on the batch of ice cream and the amount of time it had been refrigerated. Although the ice cream was melting fast under the high humidity and setting sun people didn’t seem to care, and the lines kept coming. We were going through ice cream fast.
At about 8:30 or so, the real drama began; one of the ice cream machines quit working at its normal speed. At the same time, we realized that we only had about 4 gallon pails of ice cream left in the big freezers that are meant to hold about 30 pails of ice cream each. On a normal night, at least one of those coolers should be three fourths full of ice cream. And that’s when we heard the daunting words: “We’re going to run out of ice cream” spoken by the guru of the ice cream booth. We all looked at each other nervously and hesitantly. “If we run out, do we get to leave early?” I asked naively.
“Ha!” the guru responded throwing his chin up in the air.
“We keep making ice cream until the fair closes down. We’re behind big time.” The fact that there we didn’t have much ice cream combined with the fact that one of the ice cream machines was on the fritz, seemed to up the value of the ice cream in all of our minds. It was like we were now working with gold or pearls in the form of home-made ice cream.
It was only a few moments later, that we had some guests. Traditionally and under normal circumstances, the ice cream booth trades bowls of ice cream for pork sandwiches from the pork producers in the booth across from us. This evening, shortly after the bad news, who should show up but the pork producers. “We want our ice cream” they demanded standing by the doorway of our booth. One of the mentors working our booth responded.
“Well, we don’t have enough ice cream; it’s just not going to happen tonight.”
The pork producers eyes got buggy-wide, and their cheeks got red. Another pork producer stuck his hands on his hip, and reiterated, “We NEED our ice cream to keep making these sandwiches.”
Another worker from our booth somewhat jokingly responded, “Show us the sandwiches first, and then you’ll get your ice cream.”
“Come over and get them whenever” responded the pork producer somewhat ambivalent to the fact that we were scrambling to serve ice cream, much less to take a break, get a pork sandwich, and shove it down our throats.
The head pork producer, tired of waiting said to his side-kick, “We’ve always exchanged like this. You stay here and wait until we get them ice creams.”
And so the pork producer with his cream colored apron that said the word “PORK” right across his belly, folded his arms across his chest and glared in at us workers. There were a few more heated exchanges of words, and I honestly couldn’t tell if the exchanges were in jest or not. But finally, one worker who was tired of being pestered by the pork producer muttered, "Let's just take care of it," and took him 3 ice creams. "Now don’t forget about getting us those pork sandwiches” he said as he walked back into the ice cream booth.
It was one of those situations that you wouldn’t think you’d meet at the Turner County Fair, one of the friendliest fairs in the country. I wonder what would have happened if things with the pork producers would have grown more intense. Here we are, a group of volunteers, from Salem Mennonite church being threatened by the pork producers, (some of whom are also Mennonites). If we hadn’t given them ice cream, would they have thrown fatty pieces of pork into our booth or snuck a pig’s foot in one of our freezers to be found the next morning? How does a group of Mennonites working at an ice cream booth defend themselves against this kind of intimidation? Is the idea of “defending ourselves” even in our peripheral?
At about 8:30 or so, the real drama began; one of the ice cream machines quit working at its normal speed. At the same time, we realized that we only had about 4 gallon pails of ice cream left in the big freezers that are meant to hold about 30 pails of ice cream each. On a normal night, at least one of those coolers should be three fourths full of ice cream. And that’s when we heard the daunting words: “We’re going to run out of ice cream” spoken by the guru of the ice cream booth. We all looked at each other nervously and hesitantly. “If we run out, do we get to leave early?” I asked naively.
“Ha!” the guru responded throwing his chin up in the air.
“We keep making ice cream until the fair closes down. We’re behind big time.” The fact that there we didn’t have much ice cream combined with the fact that one of the ice cream machines was on the fritz, seemed to up the value of the ice cream in all of our minds. It was like we were now working with gold or pearls in the form of home-made ice cream.
It was only a few moments later, that we had some guests. Traditionally and under normal circumstances, the ice cream booth trades bowls of ice cream for pork sandwiches from the pork producers in the booth across from us. This evening, shortly after the bad news, who should show up but the pork producers. “We want our ice cream” they demanded standing by the doorway of our booth. One of the mentors working our booth responded.
“Well, we don’t have enough ice cream; it’s just not going to happen tonight.”
The pork producers eyes got buggy-wide, and their cheeks got red. Another pork producer stuck his hands on his hip, and reiterated, “We NEED our ice cream to keep making these sandwiches.”
Another worker from our booth somewhat jokingly responded, “Show us the sandwiches first, and then you’ll get your ice cream.”
“Come over and get them whenever” responded the pork producer somewhat ambivalent to the fact that we were scrambling to serve ice cream, much less to take a break, get a pork sandwich, and shove it down our throats.
The head pork producer, tired of waiting said to his side-kick, “We’ve always exchanged like this. You stay here and wait until we get them ice creams.”
And so the pork producer with his cream colored apron that said the word “PORK” right across his belly, folded his arms across his chest and glared in at us workers. There were a few more heated exchanges of words, and I honestly couldn’t tell if the exchanges were in jest or not. But finally, one worker who was tired of being pestered by the pork producer muttered, "Let's just take care of it," and took him 3 ice creams. "Now don’t forget about getting us those pork sandwiches” he said as he walked back into the ice cream booth.
It was one of those situations that you wouldn’t think you’d meet at the Turner County Fair, one of the friendliest fairs in the country. I wonder what would have happened if things with the pork producers would have grown more intense. Here we are, a group of volunteers, from Salem Mennonite church being threatened by the pork producers, (some of whom are also Mennonites). If we hadn’t given them ice cream, would they have thrown fatty pieces of pork into our booth or snuck a pig’s foot in one of our freezers to be found the next morning? How does a group of Mennonites working at an ice cream booth defend themselves against this kind of intimidation? Is the idea of “defending ourselves” even in our peripheral?
More Love Stuff
The concepts of love in this book are really making me think. Here's something that I've been sharing with people looking to get their feedback.
From "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, "Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one "object" of love. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. Yet, most people believe that love is constituted by the object, not by the faculty. In fact, they even believe that it is a proof of the intensity of their love when they do not love anybody except the "loved" person. This is the same fallacy which we have already mentioned above. Because one does not see that love is an activity, a power of the soul, one believes that all that is necessary to find is the right object--and that everything goes by itself afterward. This attitude can be compared to that of a man who wants to paint but who, instead of learning the art, claims that he just has to wait for the right object, and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it. If I truly love one person I love all persons, I love the world, I love life" (39).
Isn't this a fascinating idea? It sure takes the pressure off of people to find that "soul mate" in life. Instead of trying to find that one perfect person to love, a person should evaluate his or her own ability to love. In other words, it depends very little upon the receiver of the love but rather the ability of the lover to give his/her love away.
From "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, "Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one "object" of love. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. Yet, most people believe that love is constituted by the object, not by the faculty. In fact, they even believe that it is a proof of the intensity of their love when they do not love anybody except the "loved" person. This is the same fallacy which we have already mentioned above. Because one does not see that love is an activity, a power of the soul, one believes that all that is necessary to find is the right object--and that everything goes by itself afterward. This attitude can be compared to that of a man who wants to paint but who, instead of learning the art, claims that he just has to wait for the right object, and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it. If I truly love one person I love all persons, I love the world, I love life" (39).
Isn't this a fascinating idea? It sure takes the pressure off of people to find that "soul mate" in life. Instead of trying to find that one perfect person to love, a person should evaluate his or her own ability to love. In other words, it depends very little upon the receiver of the love but rather the ability of the lover to give his/her love away.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Ode to a Mosquito
Adapted from Emily Dickinson’s classic poem, written on behalf of the mosquito plague of 2010
I heard a fly buzz when it died
The stillness of his wing
was like the melodious ringtone
of a phone that never rings.
I willed my hand, to slap away
The next fly that came near
as it looked for fleshy places
with its mouth shaped like a spear.
With dull, nauseating buzz,
Between his fate and me;
And then his body failed to fill, and then
he could not see.
I heard a fly buzz when it died
The stillness of his wing
was like the melodious ringtone
of a phone that never rings.
I willed my hand, to slap away
The next fly that came near
as it looked for fleshy places
with its mouth shaped like a spear.
With dull, nauseating buzz,
Between his fate and me;
And then his body failed to fill, and then
he could not see.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
What is Love Anyways?
I'm working through a great book called The Art of Loving written by psychoanalyst Erich Fromm. The book itself is pretty old, the pages and cover are more flesh-colored than the original white in which they were printed, and the copyright is 1956. But Fromm's writing is full of gems, and it's clear why this book has continued to be published and discussed by psychologists and people who are interested in this ambiguous yet necessary beast called love.
Here's a sample from one of his first chapters.
"Man--of all ages and cultures--is confronted with the solution of one and the same question: the question of how to overcome separateness, how to achieve union, how to transcend one's own individual life and find at-onement" (8 Fromm).
Fromm goes on to discuss the different ways people seek to form this connection in their lives: orgiastic states, conformity, creative activity, symbiotic union, and mature love. "Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. Love is an active power in man; a power which breaks through the walls which separate man from his fellow men, which unites him with others; love makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity" (17 Fromm). Obviously, for Fromm, mature love is the best answer to achieve this sense of union and find "at-onement." Loving this stuff!
Here's a sample from one of his first chapters.
"Man--of all ages and cultures--is confronted with the solution of one and the same question: the question of how to overcome separateness, how to achieve union, how to transcend one's own individual life and find at-onement" (8 Fromm).
Fromm goes on to discuss the different ways people seek to form this connection in their lives: orgiastic states, conformity, creative activity, symbiotic union, and mature love. "Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. Love is an active power in man; a power which breaks through the walls which separate man from his fellow men, which unites him with others; love makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity" (17 Fromm). Obviously, for Fromm, mature love is the best answer to achieve this sense of union and find "at-onement." Loving this stuff!
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Social Acceptability: you tell me because I have no idea
In the past few weeks, I realize that I have forgotten some things about being natural and cool in American society. I’m sure at one time, I knew what the culture norms were, but since being in China for a few years, my perspective of social norms in the US is a bit rusty. So for this blog post, I’m going to play the “ignorant about social norms” card. I’d love your help in answering a few questions about whether or not the following are acceptable, and please don’t be offended; I’m asking in sincerity.
1. Is it okay for me to ask a man what cologne he is wearing? Is it okay for me to ask him even if he is 55 years old?
2. Is it alright for me to openly disagree with someone’s opinion about their outlook in life?
3. Is it alright to publicly proclaim that I wish I were a member of the opposite sex at least several times a week?
4. Is it okay to criticize TV a show while watching it with your friends who love the show?
5. In general, do Americans value honesty or butt-kissing more?
6. How should you respond if someone says he /she has gained weight (and you notice it’s true.) In China, this topic is very open and you can directly comment to someone about whether they are looking fat or slim.
7. Is it okay to refuse a piece of dessert that someone made especially for you to enjoy at their house?
Alright guys, please help me out here before I get kicked out of the US of A.
1. Is it okay for me to ask a man what cologne he is wearing? Is it okay for me to ask him even if he is 55 years old?
2. Is it alright for me to openly disagree with someone’s opinion about their outlook in life?
3. Is it alright to publicly proclaim that I wish I were a member of the opposite sex at least several times a week?
4. Is it okay to criticize TV a show while watching it with your friends who love the show?
5. In general, do Americans value honesty or butt-kissing more?
6. How should you respond if someone says he /she has gained weight (and you notice it’s true.) In China, this topic is very open and you can directly comment to someone about whether they are looking fat or slim.
7. Is it okay to refuse a piece of dessert that someone made especially for you to enjoy at their house?
Alright guys, please help me out here before I get kicked out of the US of A.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
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