Never to Accomplish while Living in China (List)

Some simple tasks that I will likely NEVER accomplish while living in China:
1. Enjoying the post office.
2. Having a clean bathroom.
3. Figuring out how to hang things on the wall that won't fall down when the season changes.
4. Fixing a bike that has been broken for over half a year.
5. Having a dress or any other clothing made.
6. Successively explaining to the boss not to cut the bread into tiny, chiclet sized pieces because we want to use it as "dipping bread."
7. Reading a Chinese novel.
8. Ordering things online from China's taobao (similar to ebay)
9. Using my Chinese bank account.
10. Changing MP3's to Cd format and playing them in the classroom.
11. Showing students clips from the TV in the classroom.
12. Recording things on TV.