This past week, I've had some social event going on every single night. Needless to say, I'm tired.
Right now, it's a Friday night, and I'm curled up with a few books, a notebook, and my computer. It's only 9:00, and my eyes are already at half-mast. I don't know why I went so hard this week, but I think it might be related to this idea of staying busy so I won't have to think about deeper life issues. I was reading some from Blaise Pascal's Pensees. I think his idea about diversions is mostly correct. He writes, "Diversion: Being unable to cure death, wretchedness, and ignorance, men have decided, in order to be happy, not to think about such things(37)." He goes on to explain, "The only good thing for men therefore is to be diverted from thinking of what they are, either by some occupation which takes their mind off it, or by some novel and agreeable passion which keeps them busy, like gambling, hunting, some absorbing show, in short by what is called diversion" (38).
In my case, I'm not so easily diverted by gambling or hunting, but I simply cannot figure out how not to be so busy, and I'm already well into my 20's. Especially recently, I've been packing as much as possible into a day. Sure, I feel tired and exhausted by noon, but I also feel unable to back out of anything previously arranged. I think I'm for sure running from something, but I'm just not sure what.