Believe it or not. .

The other day, I was walking with a former student and friend, and she said out of the blue, “Believe it or not, you look very beautiful today.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, but I know I smiled a little. Hmm, I wonder what she meant by the “believe it or not” part, and I also think it’s pretty sincere how she specified that “today” I looked good to make a clear distinction from other days.

Although I enjoy getting compliments from students, their openness about physical appearances also has some downfalls. For example, when you are having a bad day, they are equally as likely to comment on your appearance as when you are having a good day. I had dry skin on my face one day, and a student pointed it out. Or if you have bad acne one day, they will likely comment on it and ask the reason. On my bad days, I don’t feel like so gracious when people point out my physical flaws. Or students might comment on someone else’s beauty right in front of you. For example, the other single teacher on our team has lost a lot of weight, and I have heard numerous students point this rather obvious thing out to her and me. They are equally open with each other too. They will tell their friends if they look fatter or skinnier, beautiful or a little ugly. It’s a different mind-set. I once heard someone describe the cultural differences in this way: The areas where Americans are indirect are areas where Chinese are direct and the areas where Chinese are indirect are areas where Americans are direct. It makes for interesting dynamics in social situations. So if I comment on your face, weight, or hair in a direct way, please be forgiving.