Indirectness

I have started to become even more aware of the indirectness that the Chinese people use when they do not want to do something or when they know the request is impossible. Instead of directly saying “no,” they will indirectly tell you “no” by saying something like, “It is not convenient for us to . . . . ” or “It is not suitable to . . . . . .” In my own conversations, I have started to use this type of language when people ask me to do something or help them with something that I know I do not have the skill or time to help them. Another indirect refusal is to postpone fulfilling the request until a later time. At that later time then, you can again postpone the request until another even later time. However, in postponing a request, there will likely come a time when you will have to fulfill the request. Therefore, it is better to think of a good reason in the beginning such as “It is not convenient for me to tutor you since I am already teaching 8 classes” or something along those lines.
I have also picked up on my Chinese students and friends use of the words “maybe” and “in fact.” In fact, you can (and most Chinese people do) add the word “maybe” to every sentence. It does not necessarily change the meaning of the sentence; it just changes the certainty of what is being said. Maybe it’s something that can soften your request for a favor. Another phrase that is popular here is, “It would be a pity.” I like this phrase quite a bit, but I told my students that usually we do not use this phrase. Instead we say, “It would be too bad” or “It would stink if. . .”